alyssa marie jac

God talks to Jesus.

• GOD: Hello, Son.
• JESUS: Hi Dad.
• GOD: So, what are You up to?
• JESUS: Not much. Hey Dad?
• GOD: Yes, Son?
• JESUS: Do You hate gay people?
• GOD: Heavens no. What gave You that idea?
• JESUS: Conservatives. Evangelicals.
• GOD: Oh.
• JESUS: Do You think women are somehow inferior?
• GOD: Hell no.
• JESUS: Do You really expect people to live and die by the Bible?
• GOD: That's nonsense!
• JESUS: Do You believe I lived around the same time as the dinosaurs?
• GOD: Are You smoking something, Son?
• JESUS: No.
• GOD: Then stop this crazy talk.
• JESUS: Okay. (Beat.) What about science? Do You have a problem with science?
• GOD: No.
• JESUS: Having Your name left out of political platforms?
• GOD: What? That's just fucking stupid.
• JESUS: How about those "Keep The 'Christ' In Christmas!" bumper stickers?
• GOD: Son, are You out of Your God-damned mind?
• JESUS: What about organized religion?
• GOD: Men came up with that shit.
• JESUS: Oh. (Beat.) Okay.
• GOD: Are You done?
• JESUS: Yeah.
• GOD: I mean Jesus H. Christ, Son.
• JESUS: Yeah. (Beat.) What's Your favorite sports team?
• GOD: The Yankees, of course.
• JESUS: Of fucking course.